It Was a Dark and Stormy Knight?

Sir Gawain and the grim knight? Heathcliff of Thrushcross? Here's a story about something that always gives me a smile: the annual bad writing contest. Named after Ed Bulwer-Lytton, the contest invites any and all to submit their most heinous prose for consideration.

Here's the winner in the children's lit division:

Winner: Children's Literature

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe who had so much equity (because our story, dear children, is set in Miami's hot real estate market) that she upgraded the exterior to blue suede siding as a tribute to her idol, Elvis, moved her kids to a bootee out back, and then reopened the place as the "Are You Lonesome Tonight?" motel (but you'll have to wait until you're 18 to read any further).

Barbara Bridges Sierra Madre, CA